Aldulf The Mad

Adulf as a child, Gustavo Capitani

Aldulf IV (1668 – 1721), often nicknamed The Mad (by his enemies) or The Individual (by his courtiers) was one of the most prolific monarchs in Whitmounts’ history. Having been born to new blood coming into the Whitmount family in the form of his mother, Anne Saville, Countess of Carbery, rather than having his father, Olov II, marry a member of the Kalmarunionens cabinet. However, many modern historians say that the new blood in the family dented the reputation of the monarchy, as traces of acute intermittent porphyria have been found in the coffin of the Countess.

Although Adulfs’ childhood was one of luxury, his mind was one of constant struggle. Sources from the time, particularly Fortunato Arce’s account of his own life in My Travels in the World of Men, describe the future king as “a boy of little discretion … his temperament, although closely controlled by his courtiers and nannies, can at any moment lash out into madness, and I often feared for the reputation of the family [sic]”. One story that we can draw from the kings childhood was when, around the age of 13, his nanny introduced him to some peasants that worked on his estate. The following extract was found in the Royal Governess’s diary, dated 1681 (this is from the 1887 translation by O.R. Eilerts).

Nanny Siemon came to me today to discuss a distressing incident involving the young prince. She retold to me that, when upon meeting some of the poorest on the land here at the estate, the young prince kissed the feet of the youngest child in penitence. When the Nanny asked the prince why he was doing this, he answered “I have seen the poor in my dreams, and this boy will grow up to be the son of God”. The Nanny wafted away his idea, saying that he as the son of the King, was the son of God. After agreeing with the nanny, the young prince declared that he WAS the son of God, and promptly pulled out his sward from his sock and stabbed the child in the neck. Horrified, the Nanny enquired why he had done that, and the boy repeated his commandments to her over and over until they had gotten back to the nursery for language lessons, whereupon the child forgot about the incident.

Once crowned, at age 23, he ordered his young wife, Sophia Hedwig of Denmark, to destroy all the eggs on his property, so that only hers were the ones that could be grown. He also had an acute case of tetraphobia, probably because his father was struck four times in the head by an assassin and then lived for four more days before dying. He ordered that all new palaces and houses should be an odd number of sides, resulting in the Pentagon Era of Whitmountian architecture. All his army generals were forced to wear the tricorne style of hat, even though tradition dictated either a bicorne or a traditional Boxhat.

Another, more sinister, quirk of his was his fascination with fish. Although it is important for any Whitmountian to respect the waters that surround the island, the young prince took this compassion very literally. One day, he was found by the Royal Governess “pleasuring himself with the head of a herring”, and he was famous for his Water Balls, where nobility would come to wallow in his pond, having great orgies using squid and octopus to help them. At one of these parties, the Grand Duke of Elegest nearly died after a somewhat dead squid went down his gullet, but the King was quick to act and, using his crooked erect member, fished out the cephalopod and proceeded to use the duke as a pleasure thing. There are many sources that comment on the Kings homosexuality, most notably his relationship with Philippe, Duke of Orléans being one of great passion.

It was at one of these orgies that the King died. After a particularly long session with the Duke of Ditutu and his wife, the king collapsed and started having a seizure. He died almost immediately, for he forbade his subjects to touch him without his permission. He was succeeded by his son Johan.